Author: Staff (Page 106 of 109)

Bullz-Eye.com has a great list of 15 films where humanity isn’t doing so hot. The top movie on the list is “Planet of the Apes.”

Though this isn’t actually a best-to-worst list, “Planet of the Apes” was always going to be sitting at the top. Not only has it been the subject of countless pop culture parodies (admit it, “Simpsons” geeks: you’ve been singing “I hate every ape I see / From chimpan-A to chimpanzee” since you started reading) and contains one of the greatest movie lines of all time (“Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!”), but it was a defining moment in late ’60s science fiction, leaving a legacy that even Tim Burton’s craptastic remake wasn’t able to taint…much. Everyone knows the famous State of Liberty scene where Taylor (Charlton Heston) damns the maniacs all to hell for blowing up the planet, but Earth’s real problem started with the plague that hit in 1983 (!), which killed off the majority of the planet’s dogs and cats. After a suitable period of mourning, humanity turned to monkeys and apes as pets, a regrettable decision which quickly led to simian slave labor and the inevitable uprising. At this point, things get a little sketchy, but a nuclear exchange definitely took place, and it was all downhill for humanity after that…not that apekind didn’t have its own troubles. (See “Battle for the Planet of the Apes” for details.) Good thing the mutants had the Alpha-Omega Bomb to serve as the great equalizer. Of course, their version of leveling the playing field involved leveling the entire planet, but, hey, you can’t argue with those kinds of results.

The original is soooo good, and Tim Burton’s remake is soooo bad!